The Name is the Game
Katie over at Monkey in the Middle informs us that PETA has started a campaign to call fish "sea kittens" as part of its push to restrict fishing (1). PETA is using the campaign to entice people to sign a petition calling on the US Fish and Wildlife Service to stop promoting "the hunting of sea kittens (otherwise known as fishing)."
Of course I realize that the aim of PETA is to stop mankind from eating meat and fish. When they find out that plants have feelings too, then we are in deep trouble. Hopefully this naming thing doesn't catch on because I'm hooked on fish. PETA is correct in one regard, the name of a thing certainly colors our perception of it. In my article Learn Your Country's Language or Get Out I wrote:
A rose by any other name would not smell as sweet despite the poet's assertions. Laburnums are quite beautiful but you won't see any poems written thus: "Oh my sweet precious Laburnum, how I long for thee." The name is everything. Ask anyone whose name is Titschitz.
So this got me to thinking; perhaps there is a way for Israel to battle against Hamas without the interference or condemnation of the UN and the rest of the Jew-hating world. Here's how: simply include Tallis, Kippot, matzoh crackers, some potato latkes, and Israeli identity papers in every bomb. After the explosion, the Red Cross, Reuters' reporters, and UN Human Rights workers will look at the debris and conclude that Jews had just been killed and will ignore the victims entirely and even the whole bomb site. No one will hear about it, complain about it, or tear their hair over it.
Calling the victims Jews instead of Palestinians changes everything. The name is the game.
Related: Sometimes things get renamed for political reasons. Recall the failed drive to rename French Fries to "Freedom Fries." After the Danish Cartoon Affair, Iran renamed Danish Pastries to "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad":
Planck's Constant, Persian Pastries and Iranian Roses of Mohammed
Here are a few suggestions of other desserts Iran can rename as well:
Death by Chocolate -> Death by Choking
Apple Crunch Pie -> Adam's Apple Crunch Windpipe
Chocolate Chip Squares -> Sheep Dip Squares
Girl Scout Cookies -> Infidel Teen-Whore wafers
Rugelach Kosher Cookies -> Oven-Baked Jewsies
ENDNOTES
(1):
News.com.au, 9 Jan 2009, PETA's push to rename fish 'sea kittens'
A CAMPAIGN to rename fish as "sea kittens" in order to improve their image has been ridiculed by the Federal Opposition.
Outspoken animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is using the "sea kitten" name as part of its push to restrict fishing.
"Nobody would hurt a sea kitten!" the group says on its website.
"People don't seem to like fish.
"We're going to start by retiring the old name for good.
"When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it's time for a serious image makeover."
The website features images of fish with cats' whiskers and ears.
