A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim Walk Into a Bar from Planck's Constant

An old Jew holding a moneybag
Photo Credit: The Jewish Press

A reader sent me an email asking why I only make fun of Muslims. While it is true that I have written a ton of Muslim jokes (71 articles so far), I have not ignored poking fun of Jews, for example see The Sounds of Silence and The Subjugation of Jewish Women.

Allow me to add another Jewish Joke. I have told this joke to a number of Jews and I should mention that a small percentage did find it offensive and even anti-Semitic. To which I say, "Piffle-Paffle," if you can't take a joke, you're not civilized.

Thousands of years ago a man fell into a mud-hole; all his friends laughed at his unfortunate happenstance. The poor fellow had two options: climb out and pummel those who laughed at him or climb out and laugh along with everyone else. Mankind became civilized when the first human fell into a mud-hole and laughed at himself.

If you take umbrage at the laughter then everyone is laughing at you; if you also laugh then they are laughing with you.

So here's the joke:

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim Walk Into a Bar

After a few friendly beers they begin a discussion about who was the most religious.

"I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara," exclaimed the Muslim. "Suddenly a fierce sandstorm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel we were being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and then suddenly for a hundred yards all around me, the storm had stopped. So since that day I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Quran from memory."

"One day while fishing," began the Christian, "I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly a fierce storm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly for a hundred yards all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Christian and am now teaching young children about Him."

"One day I was walking down the road," explained the Jew, "I was in my most expensive designer outfit in the middle of New York City. Suddenly I saw a black bag on the ground in front of me appear from nowhere. I put my hand inside and found a million dollars in cash. I truly thought my end had come as it was a Saturday and we are not allowed to handle money on the Sabbath. But I did not lose my faith in Ha-Shem (the ineffable name of God), I prayed and prayed and suddenly for 100 yards all around me, it was Tuesday."

For those of my readers who complain that a Muslim would not be in a bar, I suggest that you haven't met too many Muslims.