13 More Differences Between Men and Women


By Bernie on 21 Mar 2013

Last week I offered 13 Differences Between Men and Women. I hope you didn't think there were only 13 and so, due to popular demand (actually I was the only one), I now offer 13 more:

  1. Relationships

    First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis." When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots." Then she will get on with her life.

    A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.






  2. Magazines

    Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies.

    Women's magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

    nudity in magazines






  3. Groceries

    A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.

    A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.






  4. Shoes

    When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk.

    A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.






  5. Cheerleaders

    Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American.

    Male cheerleaders are scary.

    Mongolia's wrestle mania





  6. Weddings

    When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony."

    Men talk about "the bachelor party."






  7. Jewelry

    Women look nice when they wear jewelry.

    A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.






  8. Menopause

    When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual.

    Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.






  9. The Telephone

    Men see the telephone as a communications tool, using it to convey short messages to other people.

    A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.






  10. Richard Gere

    Women love Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.

    Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.






  11. Nudity in Movies

    Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a *man*.

    The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere (Breathless (1983)). This is another reason why men hate him.

    Richard Gere - Breathless






  12. Locker Rooms

    In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.

    Women talk about one thing in the locker room--sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and THEY NEVER LIE.






  13. Laundry

    Women do laundry every couple of days.

    A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth.




This has been a Thursday 13 post [# 82] and is updated on some Thursdays.

Photo credits (I do not receive compensation from any corporations linked to):

Magazines: Marie Claire, GQ

Male Cheerleaders: News.com.au

Richard Gere: Courtesy Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer








Anyone may republish this article for non-commercial use without asking my permission. I make it easy, see details here.


Related Posts with Thumbnails
If this is your first time here, please read my Comment Policy HERE.

comments powered by Disqus















HOME



Info


Email Me

FAQ/About Me

Search/Archives

Site Policies

Testimonials

My Articles in Danish

Follow Me:

subscribe to my Feedvia RSS Feed

subscribe to comment Feedvia my Comments Feed

subscribe to my YouTube Feedvia my YouTube Feed


View My Stats




Shameless Advertising


This is what Bernie is Reading Now



For Previous Books Click Here.





Comments



Buttons & Widgets


Locations of visitors to this page
Older Buttons



Blogs That Link to Me:


123beta
A collection of things...
Always on Watch
Americans Stand with Israel
Animal Magnetism
Apropos of Nothing
AUSSIE THOUGHTS
Bare Naked Islam
Basil’s Blog
BelchSpeak
Blazing Cat Fur
Blogging for a free world
BlogWrath
Celestial Offerings
Cmblake6's Weblog
Commonsense & Wonder
Conjecture and Consequence
Conservative Thoughts
Cosmic Cogitations
Cristy Li
Daily Blasphemies
David Drake
DiveDesk
DragonLady’s World
Eclecticity
Elder of Ziyon
Empyreum Cœlum
Eye of Polyphemus
Fausta’s Blog
Fiery Spirited Zionist
foolocracy
Gates of Vienna
GDCritter
Gummihund/ Rubberdog and a proud Orangutan
Hard to Swallow
Hodjanernes Blog
Huff-Watch
Infidel Bloggers Alliance
Infidelio
Infidels Against Islamophobia
Infidels Are Cool
Intergalactic Source of Truth
Iron Burka
Israel Matzav
Jewish Preppers
Jihadi Du Jour
Leather Penguin
Maggie’s Notebook
MFS - The Other News
mlah.us
Monkey in the Middle
Muellerstuff
Muslims Attack
My Gripes of Wrath
My Newz 'n Ideas
Neanderpundit
News on the March
News360
Nicholas Hunter Folkes
No Apology
nothing to laugh at
Nuke's
OBAMA CARTOONS
Oswald Bastable’s Ranting
Outside the Camp
Pakshahara
Perigo Islâmico (In Portuguese)
Pirate's Cove
pislamonausea Central
Project 2,996
Prune Juice Media
RADARSITE
Ramrock's Blog (In Spanish)
Remember Amalek
Right Nation
Right Pundits
Right Truth
Right-wing Agenda
Rightjab
Rosemary’s Thoughts
Sherryx’s Weblog
Silence the messenger
Silicon Valley Redneck
Simply Jews
Smooth Stone
So Far, So Good ...So What!
SPLINA ULTRAGIATĂ A ZIONULUI
Squid Thoughts
Stop Islamic Conquest
StormBringer
SumanSpeaks
Sunday Morning Coffee
Synopsis
Tales of a Wandering Mind
TAYLOR TOPICS
The Amboy Times
The Astute Bloggers
The Christian Defender
The Infidel Task Force
The Lambeth Walk
The Lunatic's Asylum
The Mindset
The Old Curmudgeon
THE OUTRAGED SPLEEN OF ZION
The Political Commentator
The Right Nation
The Sandman
The Sassy Tn’T PoLITicallY InCorrect
THE TEXAS SCRIBBLER
The Unreligious Right
The Virtuous Republic
Theo Spark
Third World County
TheRightRant
Thunder Pig
Transhumanisten
Treppenwitz
Unicorns and Rainbows
usa stands with israel
Veritas Universalis
Western Civilization and Culture
wine women and transcendence
Working the Web
Xanthippa's Chamberpot
Zilla of the Resistance
Zionism, Rebbi Nachman, and Rav Kook