I Have Changed - No More Disgusting Jokes Mocking Islam, Muslims, or Their Pedophilic Prophet (PBUH)

I have written almost a hundred disgusting joke articles (95 to be precise) mocking Muslims, their religion, and their savage, lustful, pedophilic prophet (PBUH), but no more. In the spirit of Passover and Easter, I decided to re-read some of the emails and comments castigating me for my racism, bigotry, Islamophobia, and worst of all, my lack of joke-telling skills.

I don't know how I could have ignored for so long what was plainly written in those emails and comments. Here for my readers are representative samples of some of those remarks:

  • These are horrible.
  • Whoever compiled these “jokes” needs to get a life, seriously.
  • This is humor from a past century, stuff like this isn't funny anymore.
  • Grow the f*** up.
  • These pages should immediately be removed from the internet.
  • We are a multicultural nation as such we should be accepting minorities and not berate them with repulsive, demeaning, unfunny jokes such as these.
  • There is a difference between freedom of speech that makes us a better nation and the freedom of speech that puts us back hundreds of years like you just did.
  • I’d like to think that we have progressed beyond racism and bigotry, but after reading these disgusting so-called jokes I guess we have not.
  • You f***ing jew douche bag, who are you to think you know anything about Islam?
  • You need to get a life and pray for what you did to your soul - you will pay after you die.
  • You should be ashamed mocking Muslims then acting as if you are better- this is not a joke - it is just racism.
  • you are a human being with not a single redeeming trait.
  • These are like jokes that ignorant children make.
  • These are not funny.
  • Jokes about rape? Really? You are so sick.
  • I don't get it - these jokes suck.

  • Added 28 March 2016: In response to my article Apple Computer Stops Doing Business In Anti-Gay Countries: Joking about the murder of homosexual youth is inappropriate.

I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be liked and admired and respected; therefore no more disgusting jokes mocking Islam, Muslims, or their pedophilic prophet (PBUH).

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Wait a minute. Oh yeah: April Fool!

Here for my readers' pleasure and the annoyance of those with a big stick up their butts are just a few derisive bits of humor about a group dear to Hitler's heart:

Some people think I hate Muslims; that's not true - during the last Muslim holiday I bought my Muslim neighbor an electric face razor. I hope she liked it.

I've even set up a charity to help underprivileged Pakistani girls. It's called, 'Shave The Children'.

And yes, I almost dated a Muslim girl; however the last time I was with her she was talking to me about a "blowjob." I didn't know whether to pull my pants down or call Homeland Security.

I saw a Muslim fellow standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Ahmed, won't it f*cking start?"

I saw a Muslim tribute band last night called 'BOMB JOVI.' Their last song 'Living on a prayer mat' almost brought the house down.

For my British readers: Regarding the recent floods in Pakistan:

Rumor has it that the floods in Pakistan were started by a suicide plumber.

What goes around comes around: Pakistanis have been flooding the UK for years.

The British Nationalist Party have donated 6000 crocodiles to the Pakistani flood appeal.

The Pakistan president Asif Ali Zardari says "the main problem we are having mopping after the flood is that all our spongers are over in the UK!"

There is a new diet sweeping Pakistan. It's called swim fast.

The Queen has sent a letter of condolence to the Pakistani president. She wanted to mention that Britain has plenty of spare Pakistanis if they want some back.

Many in Britain are saddened by the latest news from Pakistan. It stopped raining.

Pakistan's neighbor India has offered to help with flood relief by sending thousands of towels. It's all they could think of off the top of their heads.

Q: What do you call a Muslim who never blew himself up?
A: A dud.

Q. What's the quickest way to find a Muslim in Washington D.C.
A. Take a White House tour.

Q: What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead Muslims?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

A charity called the other day and asked if we would take a Muslim child for Christmas. Now that's a weird question - usually we're roasting turkey!

Ahmed went out last night dressed to kill - Beard, sandals, turban and backpack.

Aborting Muslims is extremely unethical and can prove fatal. Cut the wrong wire and the entire building goes up in flames.

I met this Muslim woman the other day. She must be stalking me because I f*cking see her everywhere:

### End of my article ###

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