Speaking English Is Not Enough Tenjooberrymuds
I want to amend a statement I made in my article Learn Your Country`s Language or Get Out: "Unless you intend on living in your own ghetto without asking for handouts funded by my tax monies, learn English or get out." I want to add: "And if you get a job requiring you to interact with English-speaking Americans, then at least learn how to speak English well enough to be clearly understood."
To explain what I mean, allow me to illustrate with an email I received yesterday from Constant reader Patrick H. regarding a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and a Hispanic immigrant manning the room-service line:
(By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS...)
In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language!
Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS."
With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!
Now, here goes..
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service:
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin!
Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
G: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: ".....What??"
RS: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them?
Sorry... scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I... don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes?
Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No, just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?!?"
G: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy..rye ??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjooberrymuds."
G: "You're welcome."
and Welcome to America
This problem applies as well to other immigrant groups than Hispanics. Sadly, it applies to many native born Americans, especially those who speak black street-talk which is barely related to American English and is directly responsible for the failure of blacks to make it in their own country:
Planck's Constant Blog, Mr President
The same goes for blacks who speak ghetto, dress ghetto, and act black. You is in America, speak American, dress American, and act American. Hey, it's a free country, you want to be black, be poor, be miserable all your life then keep acting black. But don't complain that the Man is holding you back. You is holding you back.
