Arab And Camel Jokes

milking the camel
Photo Credit: New Agriculturist

There are Polacks-are-dumb jokes, Irish-are-drunks jokes, Jews-are-cheap jokes and yes, there is even a genre called Arab & Camel Jokes. Allow me to proudly present my readers with this type of humor which I have for certain reasons placed under the category of Muslim Jokes.

A tourist rents a camel from an old Bedouin, who tells him, "It's a very capricious animal, sometimes it stops and won't continue."

"What do I do then?"

"You take these two bricks I give you, and when it stops, you get down, walk behind it, and (*smash*) crush its balls between the bricks!"

"God, it must hurt terribly!"

He said, "Not really, as long as you keep your thumbs out of the way."

A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."

The husband thinks and thinks and after a very, very, very long silence, says, "She's not for sale."

The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"

The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

Jack was an auto mechanic and he had a little crossroads garage out in the middle of the desert. One day his friend Omar hurriedly drove up and in a near panic said, "My camel is sick and won't get up, can you help me?"

Jack knew nothing about camels or doctoring, but as a friend he said would go take a look at the camel.

They quickly drove out to Omar's place and there in the barnyard lay the camel. Jack got out of Omar's pickup and slowly walked around the camel three times. He finally stopped and kicked the camel hard in the gut. The camel let out a big gaseous fart and got to his feet.

Jack said, "Just what I thought, vapor-locked."

A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees an Arab pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won't budge. The woman stops and says, "Do you need some help with the camel?" The Arab tells her the camel won't budge but she's welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW... smashes the camel's testicles with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert. The Arab lifts his robe and says, "Great! Do me next, I've got to catch that son of a bitch!"

Ahmed and Mahmud are bored sipping tea at their tents. Ahmed says to Mahmud, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air."

Mahmud says no way.

So, Ahmed walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks. Reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.

A couple of days later Ahmed says to Mahmud: "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes."

Mahmud shakes his head, "You got me last time. But there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes."

Ahmed takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember me?"

The camel nods.....

An Arab national is interviewed at the Embassy for a visa:

Consul: Your name please?

Arab: Abu Zina.

Consul: Sex?

Arab: Every day.

Consul: Er, I mean, male or female?

Arab: Don't matter, sometimes even Camel.

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab: Yes, cows and donkey too.

Consul: Isn't that hostile?

Arab: Hosstyle, Dogstyle, any style!.

Consul: Oh dear!

Arab: No deer! Asshole too tight and run too fast.

From Jokes about Islam are Not Funny:

Q: How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex?
A: He marks the camels that kick.

From More Offensive Muslim Jokes:

Q. What do you call an Arab who owns six camels?
A. A pimp!

Q. What do you call an Arab who owns a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.

To find out how camel balls can tell time read My Friend Emily Fondles Camel Testicles That Tell Time.

### End of my article ###

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