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Pakistanis and Indians are from the same racial stock. They are no different from each other than than the Germans of cold war East and West Germany were. But just as East Germany was a failed state because of its politics - Communism, so too is Pakistan a failed state because of its politics - Islam.
How stupid can the execs at Wal-Mart be to allow a mob to get into a stampede. 28 years ago I saw the dangers of long lines and took actions to manage large groups of people. Wal-Mart should know better. Especially if the crowd is lower income blacks.
President George W. Bush stands between Paul Hill, left, of the National Turkey Federation, and his son, Nathan Hill during the pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey Wednesday, Nov. 26, 2008, in the Rose Garden of the White House. This year marked the 61st anniversary of the National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation and Pardoning.
You're a single dad traveling on vacation in Maine with your 9 year old daughter Megan when she tells you she has to wee. You pull over at a public rest stop and Megan goes in alone; she's too old for you to take her into the men's room and too young to be away from your view, so you sit on a bench outside keeping an eye on the door making sure no one absconds with her.
Some morons see racism in everything. Now we have objections to children wearing the traditional costumes of Thanksgiving because they see the relationship between the Indians and the Pilgrims as one of Master and Slave. 
Yes, it's true, perfume sprays can kill you.
It was the spring of 1955, and the shrill squeak of chalk scratching into slate sent shivers through the tiny bodies of the third grade class. Some of the students who had not been paying attention now gazed up and saw me up at the blackboard drawing a stick figure of a naked woman. I was ten years old.
Before you call me crazy or blind, let me assure you that I think she is agonizingly beautiful. However consider the following: her body is littered with graffiti, she's too skinny, her lips are too large, her too numerous teeth are spread too wide across her mouth, her forehead is humongous, her face is crooked, her head is horse-shaped, her nose is long and funny shaped and she has no earlobes.
My tax attorney just emailed me this interesting news: because Obama wants every American to get his fair share of the wealth of this country, his first Executive Order will be to the IRS to send every US taxpayer a new "Spread the Wealth" pencil sharpener. This is to help taxpayers to know exactly how much they will need to spread to comply with the new 2008 IRS tax forms. So be watching' in your mail box!
"Did you hear about the new Polish bank? You bring in a toaster and they give you ten thousand dollars." Well now it seems Liberals have reduced the American Banking system to something even worse than a Polish Joke.
I thought nothing could look in as bad in disrepair as Michael Jackson's face, but I was wrong: the Neverland Ranch has gone completely to seed, which parallels Michael's career. This is what happens when you let friends and relatives run your estate, and religious nutcases like the Nation of Islam run your your career.
Indeed, I can prove that from time to time small rips in the fabric of space have allowed the transmission of Bizarro information to leak through and infect the minds of Earthlings. Especially Liberals who seem more prone to idiocy and absurdity.
In my home we celebrate Christmas because it too has become an American Holiday. Most of the Carols we sing, the stories we tell, the decorations we hang, and the Christmas films we watch are particularly American. My two boys, ages 26 and 31, have been celebrating Christmas their entire lives without once associating the festive holiday with the name Jesus Christ.
You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.
So, this is what I did. I strolled through our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem.
If you are a Liberal you want to believe in global warming precisely because the US won't join the Kyoto Protocol or because George Bush is opposed to the US signing the treaty.
Listen ladies, the purpose of perfume is to enhance the natural fragrance of the human body, not to smother it as a cat shoves litter over its feces. Perfume should be applied gently and sparsely. Pretend you are atomizing microscopic droplets of diamonds - be very frugal. Let me tell you the correct way to apply perfume to the delicate female form.
After years of fleecing their employers and American consumers, United Auto Workers are now looking to Washington to help come up with money to continue their exorbitant and ridiculous pay structures.
As for the cure for Muslim-phobia, in December 2004, former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan revealed his remedy for "Muslim-phobia": understanding and tolerance. I fully agree: if Islam and its billion and a half brainwashed adherents ever become understanding and exhibit tolerance, I believe that the rest of the world would accept Islam as a true religion and Muslims as decent human beings instead of the anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, anti-Buddhist, anti-Hindu, anti-West, anti-civilization, anti-science, anti-intellectual, whining, brutal, ignorant, barbaric, backward, primitive, violent, loathsome, intolerant, moribund, parasitical bunch of savages they are.
Seven decades ago, very intelligent people from a culture that spawned operas, great literature, and scientific genius closed their eyes to the evil unfolding before them, refusing to believe that intelligent, civilized, cultured fellow Germans could be capable of unspeakable brutality.
It is morally wrong to discriminate against anyone for their religious beliefs. However, refusing to hire someone precisely because their religious beliefs conflict with the purposes for which the business was organized is not discrimination any more than refusing to hire a black actor to play an albino is racist. It is not illegal to discriminate against midgets if the NBA does not hire them as players, nor should it be.
Now it seems the Arizona court has reversed itself. At first, we read that Arizona’s Supreme Court Justice Ruth McGregor has agreed to enforce the Hispanic Bar Association’s demands of banning the terms “illegal” and “aliens” in all of the state’s courtrooms.
when Muslims have a Miss Muslim Universe Contest their appreciation of beauty is unrivaled as the entrants are completely naked exposing all the delights that heaven can confer.
Let me explain about the under-30 crowd: most of them only care about sex, drugs and rock and roll. Don't get me wrong, I too care about sex, drugs and rock-and-roll, but because I'm 63 years old I also worry about Islamic terror, making money, and my health. The last three items are hardly a concern for most callow Liberal minds.
Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...
I doubt there were very many black mothers telling their children that they too could one day be President. There are dreams and there are impossible dreams.
Reason #8.
I believe the young carried it for Obama. One day they'll get it back in spades. I was hoping to go to bed and wake up tomorrow with the election results but I was called a few minutes ago and told that we elected a black man as President of our country.
As I have written before, tomorrow I'll vote for a Democrat for President for the first time in my life. Not because I agree with Obama's socialist views but rather because I have arranged my financial affairs so as to profit from the coming collapse
We all recall the exchange between Obama and Joe the Plumber when Obama blurted out his "share the wealth" philosophy. 
On Election day this coming Tuesday there will be a historic first for this great nation of ours no matter who gets elected: we will either have our first female Vice-President or our first black President.
