Humor from Planck's Constant Archives

Posted on February 25, 2010 11:23 PM

INTERNET WARNING

Read the Rest: Nude Photo of Nancy Pelosi

Posted on February 9, 2010 10:26 PM

I will admit that there are huge differences in culture regarding how Americans and Muslims view women. So in this lesson we will cover words we use in tribute to the female body. This is nothing to be ashamed about, Ahmed. Allah in his wisdom created among the females in the animal kingdom, certain plumage, feathers, coloring and so on to help the female attract the male. While it is true that Muslims are attracted to all females, and even some females of different species such as goats and camels, American men are not attracted to all women.

Read the Rest: English for Muslims Part 1

Posted on February 1, 2010 07:11 PM

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A man enters and orders a martini. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?"

Read the Rest: The Robot Bartender

Posted on May 26, 2009 06:12 PM

If we monitor annual deaths from bar-fights because someone insulted another, we could easily state that thousands each year are killed exercising their first amendment rights, so should we consider banning free speech? I see a few Liberal hands going up in the audience; yes, yes, I know you Obamaites cannot wait to ban free speech along with guns

Read the Rest: Ban Doctors Not Guns

Posted on November 21, 2008 09:13 PM

"Did you hear about the new Polish bank? You bring in a toaster and they give you ten thousand dollars." Well now it seems Liberals have reduced the American Banking system to something even worse than a Polish Joke.

Read the Rest: Buy a Toaster Get a Bank

Posted on October 4, 2008 12:31 PM

While we have had a few bank failures the rest of the world saw catastrophic collapses of their own banks:

Read the Rest: Banks Worldwide Failing

Posted on August 28, 2008 02:36 PM

Here's a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Read the Rest: The Value of Consultants

Posted on August 12, 2008 05:19 PM

Just as there is no sound unless someone hears it, there is no offense unless someone takes it. That is to say, taking offense is something the listener, not the transmitter, does.

Read the Rest: Offensive Jokes

Posted on May 10, 2008 04:48 PM

Seeing is believing. In my previous post PEPSI Stands for "Pay Every Pence to Save Israel", I reported that Islamic scientists made the startling discovery that the hidden meaning behind the letters forming the name PEPSI is Pay Every Pence to Save Israel. Now comes visual proof from reader and photo-blogger Edward Cropper from his article Such A Drink I've Never Tasted whose work I reproduce below with his kind permission....

Read the Rest: Photo - Pepsi Mentioned in the Bible

Posted on April 9, 2007 05:06 PM

That's right. Google gives our enemies directions on how to reach our shores: It is well known that London is now a free port of entry for any Muslim in the world. When the flying Imams were removed from a US Airways flight in the Twin Cities, it put them on notice that everyone was now onto them and they would be watched very carefully if they tried to come into this country through normal means.

Read the Rest: Google shows Terrorists how to reach America

Posted on January 19, 2007 02:40 AM

With so many new immigrants coming to this country I thought it would be a public service to inform our new potential citizens of how playing sports relates to corporate structure. I have embellished this Internet story with photos from Flickr.

Read the Rest: Sports Balls and Corporate Structure

Posted on January 14, 2007 03:53 PM

Favorite Sexual Position: Muslim woman: Alive and not beaten too severely. Jewish Woman: Facing Bloomingdale's. Inheritance: Muslim Woman: receives a half-share equal to that of a man. Jewish Woman: gets everything that isn't nailed down. If it's nailed down, she lives in it.

Read the Rest: The Subjugation of Jewish Women

Posted on January 5, 2007 04:25 PM

What a year! Muslims, Muslims, everywhere. We had cartoon riots, Minnesota voters send first Muslim to Capitol Hill, New UN ambassador a Muslim, the first female Muslim in space, Muslims taking over Catholic Churches in Belgium, and one-fourth of the world is now Muslim.

Read the Rest: Vatican: Next Pope will be Muslim

Posted on November 4, 2006 03:49 PM

drivers were losing control and running into other vehicles upon seeing a giant woman's pubis displayed on the front part of an oncoming car.

Read the Rest: beetle creates dangerous car traffic situation in Los Angeles

Posted on October 25, 2006 03:09 PM

When divine objects plop out of chickens' assholes we do not see any Muslims running around butchering blasphemous chickens. But let Burger King's Ice Cream lids appear slightly similar in script to the Arabic 'Allah' and they have a cow.

Read the Rest: Allah on Eggs OK - Allah on Western Products No way

Posted on October 24, 2006 12:09 AM

Today, the French newspapers Le Figaro and Le Monde carry articles warning that police fear that riots on the scale of those which took place last year are ready to flare up again.

Read the Rest: Help the French put out their Fire Riots

Posted on October 22, 2006 04:54 PM

Although Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni (March 6, 1475 – February 18, 1564), commonly known as Michelangelo was only 17 when Columbus discovered America, he made a point of knowing the most important characters of the time and incorporating them into his paintings.

Read the Rest: Michelangelo`s Prisoner of Lust painting found in Arkansas

Posted on October 20, 2006 02:02 PM

There came a time after the Creation of Man that God wanted to choose a people to be a light unto all peoples and to be unto Him a kingdom of priests, and a holy nation to proclaim His Message to the world.

Read the Rest: How Jews Came to be the Chosen People

Posted on October 20, 2006 10:44 AM

I recently read a sad article that each year in the United States, 22 million dogs are abandoned. The average length of time most people keep a dog is only two years — but the average lifespan of a dog is 15 years.

Read the Rest: How Many Dogs fit in a car trunk?

Posted on October 19, 2006 02:47 AM

i'm such an idiot - how could I forget - smack head

Yesterday I was walking in New York's Chinatown when I saw an Italian fellow gesturing madly while he was talking on his cellphone. I wondered Why? No one on the other end could see the gestures. So here are 13 hand gestures I see all the time:Smacksmv.jpg

Read the Rest: TT 13 Hand Gestures

Posted on October 18, 2006 12:59 PM

'Border baby' boom strains S. TexasMore illegal immigrants are pouring into the state to give birth By JAMES PINKERTON RIO GRANDE CITY — First it was a trickle, now it's a flood. Rising numbers of undocumented immigrants from Mexico and Central America are streaming into Texas to give birth, straining hospitals and costing taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars, health officials say. Doctors and health officials say they are overwhelmed by both the new arrivals and those immigrant mothers who...